evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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