I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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