I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
