Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You're a waste of cheezeits
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
