Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
