I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I need to calm my uterus...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize