My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
