I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
