and she was petting her beer can
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
