I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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