I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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