Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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