i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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