First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
