Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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