I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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