i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
