I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
