it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
