he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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