Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
