I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize