Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
