Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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