My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
