So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
