I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
