R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
