There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
