Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
