dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
