Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
