Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
