btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize