uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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