You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize