I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
