Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
