Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
