U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
