yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
