I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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