hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize
