You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
