Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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