I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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