today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
