i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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