WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
it's like iHOP with fire
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
