you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
