there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize