i always forget guys have bellybuttons
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
