Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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