I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize