dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
