Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
