You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
