My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
