Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i am craving dick and cupcakes
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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