just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
