I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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