He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
