I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
did i walk over a car last night?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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