We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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