I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
