If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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