It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
