I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize