Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
This is the prime rib incident all over again
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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