Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm really busy with my period
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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