so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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