I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
